This girl has amazed me with the resilience of her tender heart. Daddy and Mommy learned to hold our tongues when she needed to learn to stand up for herself and work it out. We also learned a lot about going into battle for our kiddo. The two of us have labored over emails to the principles, teachers and had calls with Fun Company staff like no other year before. We have watched her learn to adapt to a teacher that does not naturally nurture and encourage. I believe those two have learned much from each other this year about how to respond to vastly different personalities.
Anna Beth was slapped, punched, kicked, laughed at and bullied more than I thought she could possibly endure. But the one thing that has grieved this momma's heart more than anything else was being exposed to racism. Brian and I have quietly observed as AB developed her friendships on a deeper level. The child treats no one differently. Cultures, disabilites, different family dynamics, she opens her heart to anyone. We treasure that about her. We have prayed more than ever, that her heart remains open to differences in people.
"Momma, my friends won't play with me anymore because I am not the same color as them."
"_______, said he wished his mom was not white because the darker kids will not play with him when they find out she is white."
"_______, made fun of me by saying people like me dance like this......and then they danced silly, then they said, "We dance like this!" and then they danced good."
"_______, said I was stupid and said she is going to slap my glasses off my face and break them. She said that because I am not the same color as her."
"Momma, why do they make you say what color you are on the TCAP? Why does that matter?"
Almost EVERY.SNGLE.DAY we have walked through these conversations as a family. I have walked away with tears in my eyes as I have watched her heart break at the rejection. We have talked much about extending grace. Understanding that others are hurting and don't understand that Jesus loves them soooo much. That sometimes others will hurt people they don't understand. We have talked about when to walk away but still pray for their hearts.
She has toughened but she has not broken. We have observed her befriend kids that bully her. She is full of second chances. Anna Beth has taught this momma much about what God would want us to do on the playground.
With all these changes over the year, Anna Beth is maturing. She has gone from a kid that wants to do EVERYTHING to a young lady that is narrowing down her interests. She has focused her energy this year on exercise and violin. She is choosing to quit her Girl Scouts after this summer,(been in GS since Kindergarten) and based upon the recommendation or her violin teacher, she wants to pursue trying out for a youth orchestra. We still have moments like this...
to moments like this...
and this...
Do I have a clue as to what her future holds? I have no idea but I will tell you...she is special. I know that everybody says that about their kids but, God has His hand on her in a unique way. It has been amazing to watch her mature this year but I know the time is coming for me to grow quiet as she gets older. She will need me to quietly guard her secrets and protect her trust in our relationship. I have been honored to support her and walk through this difficult year together. It has been a painful, beautiful journey that will help define the way she views the world. As parents, we are often overwhelmed with the enormity of the responsibility to cement her belief in God before she walks away from the security of our nest. Brian sends her off each day prepared with prayer and we entrust her to the Lord to protect her heart. I am grateful we can wrap up this year and I purpose to not be anxious for the unknown in our future.
We are proud of her accomplishments. She took pride in her work and managed to remain on the honor roll every semester this year and even finished the last semester on the Principle's List. Anna Beth,her Nana and Papa are taking off for some R&R in the mountains for the rest of the week and then we will celebrate summer to the fullest with hopes for a fresh start next year. Grateful for this girl!
