My Heart Is Full...

March 7th, 2016....I was sitting at my desk, about to go to lunch and an email popped up on my phone. It was from the birth parents of the little boy we were trying to adopt. For 5 months we have been talking via, phone, Skpe and emails. Each of us sharing our hearts and desires for one little boy. In that moment, opening THAT email, my heart stopped. It was THE EMAIL. The one that told us they had chosen for us to raise their son...now our son. Seconds later my phone starting ringing...it was Brian, "Did you see it?" he asked. I could barely speak. In that moment, 4 years or waiting, hopes, dreams and grief unleashed and I began to sob at my desk. So much so that my boss came out of her office to check on me. We sat on the phone together, in tears as we tried to process what all this meant for us...for Anna Beth...for one special little boy.

Many of you have walked this long, long road with us and a few of you we have chosen to share our son's story. Every adoption story is different but it is also private. Someday it will be his story to share and we will support that but until then, we will keep it safe for him. We will be open and share as much of OUR story as we can while protecting his privacy.

This weekend is the first time that we have met face to face. We were on a tight timeline and drove 13 hours straight with only 3 short stops, averaging about 15 minutes each. We arrived with enough time to stop at the apartment we rented for the few days we are here and freshen up. We rushed to the agency's office and arrived right one time.

Our little family of 3 arrived first and we were guided back to the agency's parent room. A safe, comfy room full of soft chairs and couches. It was there that we first laid eyes on his sweet face. Anna Beth engaged him first and those 2 took to each other like they had kindred spirits. I slowly slid off the couch and to the floor, just wanting to be closer. Brian soon joined us on the floor where we played hungry hungry hippos and counted our marbles. It was hard to stop watching the miracle taking place in front of me and also engage with the other adults in the room.

Time stood still as Anna Beth and he moved to reading books. He walked over to me and sat right in my lap. I watched in awe at my two beautiful babies reading books together and tears poured down my face. I could not stop the ugly cry and everyone in the room understood my tears. Tissues were provided as I looked in my husbands eyes. He understood them, he had held me often in the past 4 years and had heard my desires. He shared them too. We had prayed for this moment together so many times. We had dreamed of what it would be and even still could not believe how beautiful and perfect it was.

14 This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. -1 John 5:14-15


Our time here with our boy will be quick and we will soon leave him and head back to Nashville. We have many decisions that will need to be made quickly in the next couple of weeks and timelines for his transition to our home will be solidified but for now we are cherishing the random hugs, kisses and staring into his beautiful brown eyes. We will share his sweet face with you when he becomes fully ours but for now we ask that you pray. There are many emotions to be managed, many plans to be made, transitions to take place and hearts that will need healing. We believe in a VERY big God that is doing VERY big things in our family. We thank you for your patience with us as we figure this out and how to function as a family of four.