What a fabulous day with my Father! This day was to just be a day is rest, relaxation and prep for family coming in this weekend but it has become something so much more important than that. A day of just listening...
I got up this morning as we usually do and got Anna Beth and Brian out the door for the day. Usually I am leaving at the same time as the 2 of them but today was about me. Sent them off and laid back down for just a bit just thinking. Finally decided it was time to hop up, get a bite to eat and start my house cleaning. I left the TV and music off on purpose to simply enjoy the peace and began to pray. My prayer time is usually stuffed into the commute time that I have to and from work and my Bible time is spent reading scripture on the Internet during lunch but today was different... today it was not scheduled!
I slowly stopped TALKING to God and just started LISTENING. Sitting on the side of my tub with sponge in hand, I heard God say... have you missed cleaning this incredible tub that I gave to you? "Well yes I have Lord! It is really relaxing to just clean my house" was my response. Next He asked, "Have you missed just playing with your family over the last 6 months?" Tears began to trickle down my face as I admitted that I had. I stopped cleaning and just listened for His next question. "Do you miss this peace and quiet?" Tears began to really flow and last God asked, My child, have you missed moments like this with me?" Sitting on the side of the tub, sobs racking my body, I poured out my grief, pain, frustration, and disappointments to my Father. I told Him of how much this job has taken away from me and my family and I told Him of my desire to be able to work part-time.
I climbed from the tub and grabbed my Bible and my Hymnal and laid on the bed ready for comfort. I opened the Bible to Romans 4, Our pastor recently talked about Abraham's faith in God for a son and so I began at verse 20... "Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God. Being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he promised." I never got past verse 20 & 21!
Next I went to my hymnal and opened to one of my favorite old hymns, "Be Still, My Soul" The first verse goes like this... Be still my soul! The Lord is on thy side; Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain; Leave to thy God to order and provide; In every change He faithfully will remain. Be still my soul! thy best, thy heavenly Friend Thro' thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
This is my promise from God! I can go back to work on Wednesday not with dread or fear but with peace knowing that I have HIS promise. I do not know how much longer the pain will endure but I do know that it will come to an end and God will keep His promises to me.
