Yes, I said it! I am thankful right now for conviction. What a sweet time I have had with my Savior lately. I am not in a deep, dark place wallowing in what a sinner I am but simply allowing God to teach me how to live intentionally for Him.
I have recently been following a blog of a mother with a sweet 7 year old girl that passed away about a week and a half ago of brain tumors. It has been such a blessing to see how God was so active in this little girl's life. At 7 years old, she was clearly longing to go to her heavenly home. I have struggled with this concept for over a year. As I faced chemo last year, there were times that my body was so tired and I was so sick that I wondered why I was fighting so hard to stay on this earth when my eternal home was waiting for me. As I began following the story of this little girl it again caused these questions to resurface and I began to search the Word and pray for an answer.
This search took me to 2 Thessalonians.
3 We ought always to thank God for you, brothers and sisters,[b] and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love all of you have for one another is increasing. 4 Therefore, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.
5 All this is evidence that God’s judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering. 6 God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you 7 and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels. 8 He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus. 9 They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the glory of his might 10 on the day he comes to be glorified in his holy people and to be marveled at among all those who have believed. This includes you, because you believed our testimony to you.
11 With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may bring to fruition your every desire for goodness and your every deed prompted by faith. 12 We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.[c
My favorite verse in this passage was verse 11 that states that they pray constantly that they may be worthy of God's calling and that God's power would helps us to become more like Him!
The past couple of weeks I have had to find peace with the fact that God is not done being glorified through my life here on earth and yet He received glory by the death of one so very young. With that came such a burden of knowing the responsibility that God has given me by extending my life here on earth. He cured me of cancer and with that gift comes the responsibility to live so intentionally that God can be glorified through my daily life.
As I began to feel that burden, I also was reminded that my Father's burdens are light. It brought me back to the scripture "For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." Matthew 11:30 This scripture verse was a great help to me last year and it has a new context for me now. I now see it played out in my daily walk with Him. By nature, I am not a person who's gift is evangelism however I can daily love people as God loves them. I can respect and honor my husband as God commands me to do, I can teach my daughter the Bible and live it out daily in front of her and I can pray for my dear family and friends that their faith increases. I can choose activities that gives me opportunities to love on others, encourage them and live intentionally in front of them. I will fail in front of them but again what an opportunity to show humility, seek forgiveness and be a witness of God's grace.
I do long for my eternal home but He does not want us to be downcast because He has chosen to use us here on earth rather than allowing us to finally see His face. My place is here for now, to bear witness to His majestic glory. I am grateful that God has trusted me with this message and this responsibility just as He did that precious little girl.
