You see, about 11 years ago, there was this guy that was a drummer, with an earring, living out his dream in Nashville. He was bored and a little lonely so he logged onto a dating website and searched for ladies 5 feet and under. (I promise that this is a true story) He happened to pull up my profile as I fit the criteria of being 4 feet 11 inches and he sent me a message. There I was, 2 ½ hours away, lonely spinster, having spent the last 2 years of my life working with special needs kids by day and caring for my Grandmother by night (she had Alzheimer’s). I had just recently spent my 30th birthday, wearing a 1 piece denim jumper, at Chili’s, with 2 girlfriends, crying about my sad life, and then proceeded to get sick with a 3 day virus. What appeared on my computer screen that night was but a little glimmer of hope.
Fast forward 11 months and there I was in a beautiful white dress, standing next to my dad who was about to pass out. Seriously…his girl was marrying a man that was taking her 2 ½ hours away to live and my Dad hardly knew him. What little he did know, involved the earring and drum sticks. Any normal southern Baptist dad would have passed out months ago when he saw the ring! My sister was about to have a fit because I was moving and my mom was just grateful someone was finally marrying her spinster daughter. It was a wedding of mixed emotions to be sure.
We settled for a couple months into our 550 square feet of the American dream before we started searching for that perfect family dwelling. We moved into our little townhome of wedded bliss on Woodmaker Court and after about 5 months of marriage, we discovered we were pregnant. I think I actually heard my dad groan from Jackson.
From that point forward, we just plowed through life, always together. Below are just a few things that I love about my life with "B"
*There were the moments that we cried and prayed together over our little girl’s NICU bed.
*There were the parenting fails…I remember sitting on one side of a door, with my screaming toddler on the other, tears running down my face and begging my husband over the phone to talk me off the cliff. He gently reminded me that I was a good mom because I put the door between Anna Beth and I.
*There were the come to Jesus meetings about how to discipline this intensely stubborn child of ours. (I don’t know where she gets it being the first born of 2 first borns) In the end, we learned together that AB does not fit into our mold but we instead have gotten to know our girl and to parent her in a way that fits her.
*There was the time that we bought a new house and then 2 months later had our salaries cut by $10k a year. Together we learned how to lean on the Lord and cut out things that were not needed, only wanted.
*There were the nights that we rushed to the emergency room at 3 and 4 in the morning with a child that could hardly breathe.
*There were the broken down cars, weeks of living with dusty concrete floors, nights of no sleep because we had a kid that apparently had no desire to sleep through the night till she was 4!
*There was the breast cancer diagnosis, the weeping, the surgeries, the months of chemo. The moments of panic when I kept passing out, (sorry about that Love). There were the late night runs for food because I was actually hungry for the first time in 2 weeks.
*There have been the celebrations as we pass each cancer milestone and THE song…the song that he wrote me because he was proud of me.
*There are the giggles because I am so grumpy and tired. There are the late night talks about our days and dreams. The sweet prayer time as we drift off to sleep.
*There is endless hours of football…(chick flick season is coming up for me and he will endure!)
*There is the dream of adoption and the endless conversations about what that looks like for us.
*There is Brian laughing at me because after 10 years I can still not match the claps on the "Friends" theme song!
*There is the fact that he still cannot load a dishwasher and I still leave on lights.
*There is the fact that he refuses to go to bed without me and will stay up until he can convince me to go to bed.
*There are the family prayer huddles, the sometimes listened to and sometimes not family devotionals at dinner. There are the phone calls on the way to work because we ran out of time to pray together before I had to leave.
*There have been the dates at the arcarde, movies at home, the sweet notes left on my steering wheel to encourage me, the flowers just because, the notes written on his napkin in his lunches. The emails that go back and forth each morning just to say I love you…more! Each one have been simple little reminders that we daily chose each other.
*My favorite moment of our marriage has to be the moment my surgeon removed my bandages after my mastectomy. My dear husband had the biggest grin on his face when he saw my scars, looked me in the eye and informed me that it looked really good!
*There is the delight and contentment of just being in the same space together. We still rush home every night, looking forward to a hug and kiss.
This man that pledged to be mine those 10 years ago has loved me with a steadfast love. The perfect marriage is not defined by the cheezy looks over dinner and gag worthy posts on Facebook (although we are guilty of both). It is simply, 2 messy people that work hard at a relationship. A relationship that can glorify God by daily dying to their own wants and needs and putting each other first. We have weathered many storms and disappointments in 10 years of marriage and we will face more in the years to come. There is a little sign that hangs over our front door. We walk beneath it every day when we leave the house and it simply says…Love You More!
