Significance of August 26th...

It has crept up quietly and most of the time I ignore these milestones but this time, it is different. August 26th, marks the 5th year anniversary of my mastectomy. I feel the need to take a moment and reflect on the significance of this moment in time and how God allowed me the gift of time.

You see, most people, with my diagnosis and stage of cancer, have a recurrence within 2 years and pass away within 5 years of the original diagnosis. God has allowed me the opportunity to remain healthy and given me more time to invest in the lives of my family. I don’t want this moment to pass without acknowledging HIS grace in that.

Cancer is one of those things that God may never reveal his reasons for allowing in your life however I want to speak out loud the things I have learned from this experience.

1. I learned what a Christian community truly is and how God intended it to work as HIS hands and feet. That year, I witnessed and experienced my church family protect us, pray for us, support us, and walk through the hard with us. I had women sit through 8 hours of chemo while I slept and struggled to function. The body of Christ was witness to the messy of our lives, grieved when we grieved and held us up when we were too weary to stand. I remember one trip to the ER and friends left work to be there and serve as we needed.

2. I learned the depths of my husband’s love and commitment to our marriage. I have never seen a man carry the burden of that year with more grace and spiritual strength than him. I saw scars and what was lost. He spoke of what was saved and important to his heart. (The Picture below was taken an hour before we shaved my head!)

3. I learned what a spiritual impact such complete dependence on God can do to the heart of your family. We were stretched and pushed to a place of complete surrender during that year. While I would celebrate never walking this phase of life again, there was so much value in the depth of growth of our spiritual walk.

4. I learned the value of transparency. To be completely honest about where your heart is, allows others the opportunity to pray for you and also be open about their strengths and weaknesses. It creates an environment of accountability and view of our weakness in light of God’s strength.


I am fully aware of the doctor’s opinions regarding my chances at a long life. Thankfully, I am also aware my God sees far beyond what my doctors can possibly imagine. Right now…I celebrate being able to witness 10 years of my daughter’s life. I celebrate walking hand in hand with my Love for 11 ½ years. Just because I do not celebrate every cancer milestone does not mean I am not fully in awe of the power of my heavenly Father. Thank you to those dear family and friends that walked the journey beside us!

Hand in Hand Through The Hard

Around New Year’s, for the past several years, Brian and I have always talked about what our family goals are for the new year. This year was no different but my ever wise husband informed me that this would be a year of change for us. The word CHANGE is almost a curse word in a house full of first born's that thrive on consistency. I am not sure that I took his comment seriously but I really should have.

Fairly quickly into 2015 we were informed of a serious cancer diagnosis for Brian’s mom. The family gathered the wagons and circled in to care for and love on mom. It was about that time that God started leading me to step back from my role at church as the Nursery and Preschool Director. My family needed my attention more so after prayer and conversations with Brian, I stepped back. It was clear that God had lead me to do so but for 9 years, I had served in that area of the church in some capacity. It took a while to find my footing when I walked the halls of our church. My husband was thrilled to actually be able to sit with me in class and church but I was not used to being forced to interact with adults. I’m not gonna lie…I might have almost run to my car after church some days to just avoid the conversations in the hallways where people ask you about your week. FYI: If you approach me in the hallway and I have a terrified look on my face…it is really NOT you. I am an introvert and struggle with interaction.

In April, Brian graduated from College with his Bachelor’s in HealthCare Administration. After two and a half years, he was done and we were going to reclaim some family time. Just a few days later, he was given an opportunity at a new position with Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital. He accepted and began the transition into his new position.

Next up in the year we decided it was time to purchase a new car and at the same time, our realtor texted my husband and stated, “If you are wanting to move, now is the time to put the house on the market.” SIGH! That simple text rocked our world. For several years, we have contemplated moving back closer to the church and our community. We had finally reached the point where we were ready to just be content where God had placed us and settle in till the girl graduated from high school. After many conversations, prayer and a large PR pitch, we managed to get AB on board with a move. We finished the school year out at her old school…MANY tears and sentimental conversations about all she would miss but we tried to make is special. Two weeks on the market, the house went under contract and we started boxing. We had a month to find a house, box up everything and move. I might have sat in the floor and cried more than once.

We moved out one day, moved in the next and was back at work the next day. It was exhausting and I was grateful for my church tribe that carried us through. The house is not finished and it will take months, but we are there, closer to church and functioning. About the same time, we had another cancer diagnosis in our family that altered plans and caused the same reaction of circling the wagons. Just as one of our dear ones finished her treatments, another had surgery to remove the cancer.

AB started school this week and it was HARD. She is hyper and flying high one minute, the next, quiet and hanging on us. Brian had to work till 10 pm on her first day. Little miss was in tears and refused to go to bed until daddy was there to put her to bed, like always. Again, CHANGE is HARD so I let her stay up so daddy could pray with her and tuck her in. In that moment, that act of normalcy was more important than getting enough sleep.

This first half of the year has been emotionally, physically and spiritually draining. There have been many moments of feeling alone on an island. We are now in the process of evaluating our adoption. It has been 2 years of hope being deferred and we are not sure where God is leading us in this. Through all the “HARD” our marriage has thrived. Yes, we are tired…no, I don’t remember the last time we went on a date...yes, we get grumpy, no, we don’t regret the changes and we did it together. We prayed about it…we talked through it…we continued to pursue and encourage each other. We reminded one another of God’s faithfulness and goodness at ALL times, when we lost sight of it. I am grateful to walk through life with a man of integrity. It has been a tough year so far but we stronger for it. 11 ½ years with him and he continues to grow as a spiritual leader, husband and father.