Warrior Princess

I am taking on the new head gear with gusto and trying to make it as fun as possible but there is still some sadness too.

I decided early in this process, that when the time came, we were going to make it fun! So thus the plans for a party began. I have secretly called it my "Warrior Princess Party" but dared not tell Brian because he would shake his head and laugh. I picked Warrior Princess because I am refusing to allow this to control me, rather I will own it! When I had my chemo date set, I called out to my tribe and set the date. They arrived laden with food and ready for fun and maybe a few tears. We ate, made some margritas took some pictures and then I sat in the chair in the middle of the room and burst into tears! LOL Some "Warrior!" One of my dearest friends that I have come to love more and more everyday, knelt down in front of me and told me I had every right to cry and did they want me to pray? My tribe gathered, laid hands on me, prayed and wept with me before I gave up my hair. After, they were ripping out ear-rings and telling me to wear the biggest ones. My hat and scarf collection appeared and we all began to try them out.

I knew that I needed my friends and I am willing to admit that I did not want to do this alone. I can't do this alone. Isn't that the way that the way that God intended it? For us to support, love and walk with each other through these moments in life? I don't want to be tough. I don't want to be strong because in doing so I miss such sweet moments as I had last night. I am stronger for admiting my need and allowing those around me to hold me up than if I ever did this in secret.

"Carry each others burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ." Gal 6:2

In my fellowship I have found accountability, protection, love, acceptance, trust and a place of raw honesty. How can Satan be strong when we are in such a place of vunerability before our Lord? How can he gain a foot hold when we have our tribe standing guard ready to provide support and honest critisim? In my entire life, I have never felt so close to a group women. I have to believe that if we just let down our walls and let others in, we would find freedom. In this way, I am bucking socitety and allowing others to see who I really am. It is empowering and my heart is full of gratefulness.

This "Warrior Princess" has gone into battle. My armor is on and my army has surrounded me. I fight not just against cancer, but also the fears, depression, and physically weakness that accompany it. I am looking forward to the day when I will be a part of the army provding this for one of my tribe and I am hoping that my tribe will be even bigger by the time I am done!