Hard Day!

Today was such a hard day with Anna Beth that I ended up sitting in the front seat of my van in the Kroger parking lot sobbing! Why do kid's push to the brink of insanity? I believe that she sat down in the middle of every aisle and threw a fit, then she proceeded to run away from me. She has been obnoxious for the last couple of days and I am sick to death of listening to her scream from time-out. No form of punishment is working right now and the only thing that I can do is be consistent. I must say though that my patience is wearing thin. If I did not contain self-control she would not have been safe with me today! LOL

I love her dearly and fear the idea of anything ever harming her but there are days that being her mommy is very hard. She pushes so hard to win and thus I dig my heals in even harder. We are not fighting over issues of safety but of who is in charge. Listening seems to be the biggest obstacle right now. There are times that I want to put a speaker up to her ear so she will listen. I realize that it is not a matter of listening but performing the task that I gave her. I really do understand why so many working mom's give up and let their kid's rule the home. There are times that it feels as though this would be the easiest way but I want Anna Beth to grow up with discipline and focus. I want her to understand that her disobedience hurts Jesus. I do not want to take her spirit and drive from her but teach her how to control it.

Raising her often drives me to my knees in prayer because there is nothing else that I can do! I do not want to be angry with her and I do not want to show her anything but unconditional love like my heavenly Father. I order for that to shine through I cannot teach her in my own strength. This is an impossible task without guidance from above!