I know that many of our friends are afraid to ask questions
but are curious about Adi and how autism affects his daily life. I would like
to share with you something that happened last Saturday as a way for you to
better understand him and others with the same diagnosis.
After Adi’s baseball game last Saturday, our family and
grandparents headed to Chick Fil A for lunch. Adi loves it there. Near the end
of lunch, Adi’s drink was accidentally knocked out of his hand. Now if you know
Adi, that boy LOVES his soda. We have an argument with him over it just about
every day so on special occasions; he gets his coveted Sprite or Root Beer. He
was heart-broken and too upset to listen that the sweet employee was going to
replace it for him. Adi turned around during his tears and realized that the
older couple sitting next to us was staring at him because of his tears. He
then looked over at another table and noticed that another couple was doing the
same. Adi turned his back on them and went into full melt-down. You see, Adi
realized that they were judging him. He understood that they did not approve of
his response but what they did not get was that he literally could not help it.
What they saw was a spoiled brat getting upset over a drink. The reality…was a
high functioning autistic boy that is super sensitive to others emotions and
does not know how to deal with it was absolutely embarrassed and just wanted to
be alone. Brian and I moved him outside as quickly as we could but Adi was
deeply hurt.
I do not blame anyone for their stares…if you are not aware
of what special needs looks like, then you tend to jump to conclusions. Adi
does not “look” like he has challenges. On a playground, you would be hard
pressed to even realize he is constantly fighting to be what we would
characterize as typical. Autism is hard to understand. It does not present
itself in a wheelchair, with special adaptive equipment, unusual facial
features. It appears completely typical until all of the sudden it is not… My
boy wants friends but the art of conversation is something that is elusive to
him. You may ask him a question and he will stare right past you but he is
thrilled that you noticed him. Adi may repeat the words of a song to you that
don’t make sense but he can read on a 3rd grade level at the age of
5. Adi may sound like he is speaking gibberish but in reality his mind is
moving so fast that he cannot get the words out so he is giving you about every
3rd word going through his head. He may be giggling at a door but in
reality he is trying to decode the mechanism of the door. When you see tears in
Adi’s eyes and he is repeating his schedule to you over and over….in reality he
is just trying to bring order back to his world because we have asked him to do
something he was not prepped for. Adi may not appear as though he is listening
in choir but when he gets home he can sing every word back to us and in perfect
pitch. Adi cannot follow 3 step directions and gets lost during the process but
he can add and subtract. Adi may appear to be completely oblivious to your
conversations but he is aware of every word.
My challenge to you…don’t stop leaning down and saying hi to
him. One day he will surprise you and respond back because he has learned to
trust that you really want to know him. Don’t be afraid of his little quirks.
One day he will learn to better control/hide them and you will forget he has a
unique perception of the world. Don’t just stare at him but engage him, even if
it is a one-sided conversation for a while. One day he will open up to you and
you will understand just how much your acceptance of him impacted him. Please don’t
talk about him in his presence as though he is not capable of understanding because
he will never trust you and you will miss out on getting to know a very special
person. Most of all, if you are a believer, please be careful with my son’s
heart. He is learning about Jesus by observing you and witnessing the way you
accept and love him. Adi has a hard time understanding things he cannot see so
the concept of God is hard for him to understand. If you do not represent Jesus
well, you may very well be teaching him that Jesus loves with limits. We love
sharing our boy with you and want you to see how precious and unique God made
him. God did not make a mistake…he created Adi for a very special purpose and
his autism will help him one day to have an impact in a way a typical person
never could. Please don’t look at Adi as someone with limits…view him as
someone that can witness things that are completely blind to others. He
actually takes delight in tiny things that we often overlook. Recently we were
in the car and out of the blue Adi stated, “God is with me…God is everywhere.”
My boy understands this simple concept now and a year ago he had never heard
the name Jesus. We want you to be Adi’s village and pour truth into his life.
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