Mundane Ramblings

If you ever wonder what it's like to raise a type "A" child, let me give you a few quotes from my day...

"Anna Beth, stop straightening the grocery carts and let's go!"

"So let me get this straight, You emailed your teacher and asked her to send you more homework?"

"Stop turning all the cans the same direction, Mommy needs to get the shopping done so we can get home."

"Mom, I'm going to keep a list of all the things that I take in my back-pack everyday so I can make sure I bring it home."

"Mom, do you know where my label maker is?"

"AB, just erase it, you don't have to start the whole page all over." "But it looks messy!" she says with tears in her eyes.

Violin Practice..."I just want to quit cause I can't do it right!" (Tears rolling down her cheeks and 5 minutes later she plays 3 measures perfectly.

"You know how I'm a slow learner?" (She has been on the honor roll all year)

"Mom, you did not put the brush back in the drawer"

"Mom, can I organize my closet?



Conversation with AB about boys...

AB: "Do you remember Austin?"
ME: "Austin who?"
AB: "You know...AUSTIN!"
ME: Oh...the Austin you like?"
AB: "Yes! Well Anna (her friend) and I were playing and she walked over to Austin, yes there are 3 Austin's at our school. There is THE Austin, his best friend Austin and then there is the Austin that I was in Kindergarten with.
ME: (nodding like I had a clue)
AB: "Well Anna went over to Austin (the best friend) and asked him if THE Austin liked anybody but he said no. Then Anna went back a few minutes later and asked Austin (the best friend) again if THE Austin really did like someone. Don't worry, Anna is already dating somebody so she was not trying to find out for herself."
Me: (totally relieved over this fact...Bawhahahhaaaa)
AB: "Well Austin (the best friend) said not to tell anyone but THE Austin really likes me!"
ME: "Interesting..."
AB: "Yeah and he has been walking around the edge of the playground pretending to read a book but he has been staring at me."
ME: "Dating is not really something that you need to be doing in 3rd grade."
AB: "It's ok Mom, I'm not just going to date anybody...I'm waiting for HIM!"
ME: (insert long lecture on dating here)

Fun Fact: Daddy made sure that he met THE Austin one day when he picked AB up from school.

Life Is Hard Ya'll!

I'm not kidding! The last few weeks have been overwhelming with commitments. Work has been, sit in your seat for 10 hours straight with no lunch break kind of hard. The kind of hard that requires Brian and I to rearrange our schedules at 4:30 so I can stay and work till 8 at night kind of hard. Then there is coming home to this... because the dishwasher broke this week. And then there is this.... because we have been working on AB's pinewood derby car for her race tomorrow. There is staying up late to wash towels because if I don't we will be drying ourselves off with hand towels and wash cloths.

On top of the day to day my girl turned 9 yrs. old and we always pull her out of school on her birthday to spend the day with her doing something fun. She chose...wait for it...zip lining. UGH! Have I mentioned before that I am terrified of heights?!!! Like I have to close my eyes as Brian drives over tall bridges kind of scared. I'm not going to lie, I might have shed a few tears when I stepped off the last 2 platforms. But I did it because it was important to her!

At some point, I also agreed to have 14 girls over for a sleepover! Yeah, I have lost my mind!
There is also a really good chance that the decorations from that sleepover last weekend are still hanging up and the giant bed is still in the middle of my living room floor.

Then there is the church nursery/preschool schedule, paperwork , emails and expectations that I need to keep up with. I have also had the brilliant idea to start a Pampered Chef business. It is all good stuff but I am tired ya'll. Not just a little tired but like ugly cry tired!

All that to say that as tired as I have been, it has been easy to let my guard down. One day this week, I stayed mad ALL day! The hurt that I felt was valid but my attitude was not. I spent 24 hours focused on the person that hurt me rather than the Lord. While I sat at my desk the next morning, preparing to fester for another day, I realized that I had taken my eyes off God and had put them on the pain. I wanted to be ANGRY! But I realized that my attitude was interfering with my WALK. I sat there confessing my sin and asking for a new perspective. God, in His mercy and grace, loved me right where I was at and gently carried me the rest of the day. It is so easy for me to get wrapped up in the injustices of my life and I miss moments like this..... Two hours at Chili's listening to my girl's heart and hurts. What a blessing that was to encourage and love on her. I am grateful that God chases me and my mess all over Tennessee!

10 Years of Marriage Perfection!

I know, you just groaned and rolled your eyes because I called my marriage perfect. Give me a minute to tell you all about it….
You see, about 11 years ago, there was this guy that was a drummer, with an earring, living out his dream in Nashville. He was bored and a little lonely so he logged onto a dating website and searched for ladies 5 feet and under. (I promise that this is a true story) He happened to pull up my profile as I fit the criteria of being 4 feet 11 inches and he sent me a message. There I was, 2 ½ hours away, lonely spinster, having spent the last 2 years of my life working with special needs kids by day and caring for my Grandmother by night (she had Alzheimer’s). I had just recently spent my 30th birthday, wearing a 1 piece denim jumper, at Chili’s, with 2 girlfriends, crying about my sad life, and then proceeded to get sick with a 3 day virus. What appeared on my computer screen that night was but a little glimmer of hope.

Fast forward 11 months and there I was in a beautiful white dress, standing next to my dad who was about to pass out. Seriously…his girl was marrying a man that was taking her 2 ½ hours away to live and my Dad hardly knew him. What little he did know, involved the earring and drum sticks. Any normal southern Baptist dad would have passed out months ago when he saw the ring! My sister was about to have a fit because I was moving and my mom was just grateful someone was finally marrying her spinster daughter. It was a wedding of mixed emotions to be sure.

We settled for a couple months into our 550 square feet of the American dream before we started searching for that perfect family dwelling. We moved into our little townhome of wedded bliss on Woodmaker Court and after about 5 months of marriage, we discovered we were pregnant. I think I actually heard my dad groan from Jackson.

From that point forward, we just plowed through life, always together. Below are just a few things that I love about my life with "B"

*There were the moments that we cried and prayed together over our little girl’s NICU bed.

*There were the parenting fails…I remember sitting on one side of a door, with my screaming toddler on the other, tears running down my face and begging my husband over the phone to talk me off the cliff. He gently reminded me that I was a good mom because I put the door between Anna Beth and I.

*There were the come to Jesus meetings about how to discipline this intensely stubborn child of ours. (I don’t know where she gets it being the first born of 2 first borns) In the end, we learned together that AB does not fit into our mold but we instead have gotten to know our girl and to parent her in a way that fits her.

*There was the time that we bought a new house and then 2 months later had our salaries cut by $10k a year. Together we learned how to lean on the Lord and cut out things that were not needed, only wanted.

*There were the nights that we rushed to the emergency room at 3 and 4 in the morning with a child that could hardly breathe.

*There were the broken down cars, weeks of living with dusty concrete floors, nights of no sleep because we had a kid that apparently had no desire to sleep through the night till she was 4!

*There was the breast cancer diagnosis, the weeping, the surgeries, the months of chemo. The moments of panic when I kept passing out, (sorry about that Love). There were the late night runs for food because I was actually hungry for the first time in 2 weeks.

*There have been the celebrations as we pass each cancer milestone and THE song…the song that he wrote me because he was proud of me.

*There are the giggles because I am so grumpy and tired. There are the late night talks about our days and dreams. The sweet prayer time as we drift off to sleep.

*There is endless hours of football…(chick flick season is coming up for me and he will endure!)

*There is the dream of adoption and the endless conversations about what that looks like for us.

*There is Brian laughing at me because after 10 years I can still not match the claps on the "Friends" theme song!

*There is the fact that he still cannot load a dishwasher and I still leave on lights.

*There is the fact that he refuses to go to bed without me and will stay up until he can convince me to go to bed.

*There are the family prayer huddles, the sometimes listened to and sometimes not family devotionals at dinner. There are the phone calls on the way to work because we ran out of time to pray together before I had to leave.

*There have been the dates at the arcarde, movies at home, the sweet notes left on my steering wheel to encourage me, the flowers just because, the notes written on his napkin in his lunches. The emails that go back and forth each morning just to say I love you…more! Each one have been simple little reminders that we daily chose each other.

*My favorite moment of our marriage has to be the moment my surgeon removed my bandages after my mastectomy. My dear husband had the biggest grin on his face when he saw my scars, looked me in the eye and informed me that it looked really good!

*There is the delight and contentment of just being in the same space together. We still rush home every night, looking forward to a hug and kiss.

This man that pledged to be mine those 10 years ago has loved me with a steadfast love. The perfect marriage is not defined by the cheezy looks over dinner and gag worthy posts on Facebook (although we are guilty of both). It is simply, 2 messy people that work hard at a relationship. A relationship that can glorify God by daily dying to their own wants and needs and putting each other first. We have weathered many storms and disappointments in 10 years of marriage and we will face more in the years to come. There is a little sign that hangs over our front door. We walk beneath it every day when we leave the house and it simply says…Love You More!

New Year's Eve Blessing...

So Brian and I were going to go over to a friend's house to ring in the New Year but plans changed for which I will be forever grateful. You see, God had something special planned for us.

My sister is pregnant with her second and had asked a few weeks ago if she could have AB over for New Year's Eve. She wanted to spend some time with her before the baby came. This meant that Brian and I were child free and no longer had plans. We ended up at Famous Dave's for chicken wings. (We tried Buffalo Wild Wings first but they were out of Wings...yes, we laughed and shook our heads too!) I have to be honest here...I literally turned to Brian while we were waiting to be seated and asked him, "We are now that old boring couple that is going to go to bed early aren't we?" He nodded his head yes.

After ordering our dinner we began to talk and God showed up. We had an amazing time sharing our hearts and desires for the future. One question that had come up during one of our home-study sessions was, "What do you expect your adopted child to look like?" Brian and I have never really discussed this together and on New Years Eve we found that we both shared the same vision. A child that will change the look of our family and will make us think beyond our normal boundaries. A child that will teach us much about ourselves and spark conversation about what love looks like. We shared our lack of faith about what God can bless us with in this adoption and it was an encouragement to us both.

We discussed our goals as a family and as individuals for the next year. For the last couple of years we have had family goals. Last year involved the word "Simplify," completing the home-study and eating a more healthy diet. This year, our goal is "Focus." We plan to "focus" on Baby Wood (fundraising, preparing, and praying), exercise, which will include walking The Color Run as a family AND being more intentional in developing our relationships with the Lord.

We are so excited about 2014 and what God has in store. I am praying that it is a year of change for us in many ways!

Raising Compassion Vs. PC

Brian and I have spent many hours over the past year discussing being politically correct vs. speaking truth. It has weighed heavy on our minds because we have become confronted with raising a child that has great compassion in a harsh world. We have grappled with teaching truth about racism, polygamy, gay lifestyles and abortion to a child that just loves people. One of my great fears is that she will stop seeing people and start first seeing sin.

I keep going back to the verse that states…”For the LORD corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights. Proverbs 3:12” When a baby is born, we do not immediately start teaching self-restraint and discipline. We just love them and develop a bond of trust. As they grow older, we teach discipline and self-restraint as a way to protect our children physically. Eventually we teach them discipline as a way to protect them spiritually, emotionally and mentally. I believe it is the same between us and the Lord. He seeks a relationship with us because He loves us. As we fall in love with Him, He begins to reveal our sinful hearts and habits that hurt our relationship with Him. He does not reveal it all to us at once because it would overwhelm us. But instead He shows us His purity vs. our sin over time and approaches them one at a time. First…He just loves us!

This last year, as we have discussed these topics with Anna Beth, we first ask her what she believes God’s word says. Then we ask her if God loves that person no matter what. I want her to be able to recognize sin but see people as God sees them. I want her to recognize that God does not rate sin as we do. My sin of a short-temper, disrespect, etc. is not any different to God than someone else’s sin of racism or abortion. God sees sin and people differently and He calls us to do the same. If we, as Christians stop seeing people with love and compassion first, we will cease to reach them. I want my daughter to be able to influence people with the way she loves. It is an incredible gift that God has given her. If anyone has met my girl, you know that she loves people quickly and without reservation. My prayer is that God will protect that gift for a long time and she will not become jaded by this world.

I struggle with Christians that have taken a far right or far left approach to people’s hearts. God is not the author of politics but a message of grace towards His people. This is what I invest in my girl. I am not raising a Republican or Democrat. I am raising a daughter of the King. Someday, I will not be held accountable for what side of the line I taught her to stand on but what view of our God I presented to her. God will be the one to reveal His law to her gently and over time.

A heart of Thankfulness...

So I refuse to start the being thankful for one thing each day through the month of November. Not because I am not thankful but because I will miss a day of posting and it will stress me out because I am type “A.” Instead I have decided to dedicate a blog of THANKFULNESS!


1. I am thankful for the peace of my salvation.
2. I am thankful for the daily prompting of the Holy Spirit to dig deeper in my relationship with the Lord.
3. I am thankful for the way my Father created my little family.
4. I am thankful for a husband that has lived out his marriage vows to the fullest in the last 10 years. (You have no idea what an incredible man he is people!)
5. I am thankful that I am cancer free.
6. I am thankful for my husband’s job that allows him to walk away each day feeling appreciated, supported and needed. It also allows him to come home each day fully present,
emotionally, mentally and spiritually.
7. I am thankful for a husband that prays with me and our daughter daily.
8. I am thankful that God made me a Mommy. (I really thought that one was not going to happen)
9. I am thankful for my headstrong, spunky, beautiful, God loving little girl.
10. I am thankful for God allowing my child not to be perfect so that we can have teachable moments that allow us the chance to teach her more about the Lord.
(this one is hard to be grateful for all the time but I know that it is truth)
11. I am thankful for the burden to adopt that was placed on our hearts straight from our Father in heaven.
12. I am thankful for the holiday season that allow us more time to reflect on God’s goodness.
13. I am thankful for the fall season because I so clearly see the art of God reflected in the fog, trees, sky and crisp air.
14. I am thankful for the dreams that God lays on my heart.
15. I am thankful for the men and women that weekly serve in the preschool and nursery area of TDF.
16. I am thankful for the “community” of TDF in which God has placed us. For the way they live life alongside us, encourage us and love us.
17. I am thankful for technology that allowed us to “see” my brother-in-law via face time all the way from Afganistan.
18. I am thankful for a sweet friendship with my soul sister and real-life sister, Denise.
19. I am thankful for a new a different relationship with my parents that allows us the opportunity to know each other in a new way. How sweet it is to see how God moves in families!
20. I am thankful for a warm and loving relationship with my in-laws.
21. I am thankful that God brought me another sister in form of my sister-in-law Lindsey. She is a blessing to us.
22. I am thankful for teachers, leaders, pastors and adults that appreciate the way my girl always delivers hugs and speak truth into her life. This is sometimes done just by loving
her,sometimes by instructing her and many times by just living out a God influenced life in front of her.
23. I am thankful for the time in history, the place in this world and the family in which God placed me. It is the place where is believes I will bring Him the greatest glory.
24. I am thankful for the people that pray for our family.
25. I am thankful for the magic of Christmas. The reverence related to that holiday that makes me want to sing worship.
26. I am thankful for my heritage. It is flawed, diverse and full of examples of grace.
27. I am thankful for the written Word of God and the ability to have a physical connection to my Father.
28. I am thankful for the mother of our next child and the brave choice that she will make.
29. I am thankful for my brother-in-law that takes good care of my sister and has always been willing/and wants to help in any way he can.
30. I am thankful my sweet nephew that says, “I love you Aunt Denny” and the one on the way that I am excited to meet.
31. I am thankful that God has always provided when He asked us to step out in faith.

This year, my heart is grateful for many things and I could not possibly pen them all. It does help your perspective and focus when you force yourself to be aware of what God has done in your life. It is one of the things I make Anna Beth do when she is becoming too focused on herself and her frustrations. While sometimes those frustrations are valid, we become more aware of God’s presence in the middle of it when we stop to be thankful.

A Day In The Life...

I will give you a lovely play by play of my sweet angel last night… I picked her up from school and I could tell that she was a bit cranky. Me, being the brilliant and sensitive mother that I am asked, “what’s wrong?.” That question apparently opened the portal of all things evil because my “angel” began to spew forth sassy and disrespectful language. Between the door of the school and the door of my car she was on the verge of getting grounded for 2 days, at which point she responded with, “Mommy, I don’t think you want me to throw a fit right now because you and I both know how I can be!” I, in my parental wisdom stated, “Bring it!” and “Bring it” she did. I had to go pick up some hay for a church display and on the way she said things like, “I don’t care…whatever…you can’t make me.” At that point we had been together maybe 15 minutes and the angel had shown her horns. I told her to not speak to me till we got home or she was grounded for the week. It was hysterical watching her try to not implode from lack of speech. She finally broke down and begged me for forgiveness and I informed her that I was not ready to give it yet because she only wanted it so she could talk…the silence continued. We finally made it home and the child climbed the stairs to her room where she barricaded herself in and moped about all the people that had wronged her that day. I made dinner and she came down the stairs, only to thrash around on her seat, make gagging faces while making claims that she was full and in the same breath asking for candy. Brian and I sat across from each other at the dinner table trying not to laugh and groan at the agonizing long parenting responsibility of walking through each bite victory. After slouching in her chair from the herculean effort it took to eat those 5 bites, Brian announced it was violin practice. It took 12 minutes…12, to get her violin out of the case, her chin padding strapped on and her bow tightened. She then, with her feeble arms, lifted her violin and began to play the worst rendition of her song that I have ever heard. She was so exhausted from the effort, she collapsed on the floor and stated she was not possibly able to go through that again! (I was sitting across the room silently thanking God that she had done her homework at school) We managed to screech out a couple of more songs on the violin and daddy declared enough and told her to put her violin away. This is the point that her body contorted in a writhing, wailing thing that syfy movies are made out of. Her frail little frame was able to slowly climb the stairs and drag herself into the bathroom where it appeared all evil was washed off with a good bar of Dove and some shampoo. In the end, she was grounded for the week, mommy and daddy were given 3 great hours of teachable moments and she learned about respecting her authorities that God had placed over her. She trotted off to bed with a smile on her face and I climbed into bed in the fetal position praying that we do not have to do that again the next day. SIGH!